The Ole' Grey Mare Just Ain't What She Used to Be

The official badge of motherhood did not come on the day my children were born. Nor did I feel thoroughly vetted when I joined a mom’s group, a mom’s workout group, and the online “circle of moms.” I thought I caught a glimpse of myself as “mommy,” in the Whole Foods front window once, pushing a stroller, dirty hair pulled back with an almost stylish headscarf and a distinct spot of throw-up on the lapel of my rumbled blouse. No, “motherhood” as my vocation did not come the day I resigned from the teaching position I held for almost 10 years. Instead, it came today in a package from Victoria’s Secret that contained my first “swim skirt.” I fought the anti-bikini for years, even though I knew it would save me from the unsightly hair that escapes the light of a bathroom but waves like a line of car dealership flags in the beach breeze. But now, I need to embrace my new swimming costume. I have always been a firm believer in exercise and healthy living as a means to look and be healthy. Truthfully, I have never felt better in my life and I am really satisfied with my new fitness schedule. However, they say that having children changes everything forever. That is certainly true for many aspects of my life but none more than the parts of my body that were the largest that they could ever be during my pregnancy. Lord only knows what would have happened to me if I had gone even close to full term. I would have needed to wear a full-on wetsuit to the beach, never mind a Lycra mini. So, I will be satisfied in my beach dress. At least the throw-up will wash right off in the water.