Christmas 07

Everyone keeps saying we should enjoy our last quiet holiday. Does playing guitar hero count as quiet? Certainly, we better use this time to improve our game since Amanda and I may be a little preoccupied next year. Here we are practicing our fine motor skills and introducing our five month old fetuses to classic rock. By the way, this is the most exercise I have had in three weeks.

Thursday. Lisette will stop by for lunch and Mom is taking me for a manicure. Big day. I had to opt out of a cookie swap because I could not make the 6 dozen quota. Three just about wiped me out.

Bry's family is coming over on Sunday for a pre-Christmas celebration. This is good because the 2 hour drive to Vineland was stressing me out, but bad because now I have the stress of hosting. So, I need to see this as an opportunity to see things differently...

This is an exercise in not sweating things that are not all that important. If the food is good (and it will be be with my mom's help) and the house is clean (it is, because the cleaning ladies came yesterday) than who cares about everything else. When I really think about it, what else is there? The focus is and should have always been spending time together, not impressing with fancy gourmet skills and creative decor. Ah the insights of house arrest...

Elfing in my spare time!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1564809653

Cramped Quarters

Had a visit with Dr. Nath today. All looks good. He printed out pictures in "4D" and boy are they scary! The twins have no where to move, and the Baby girl is reposing right on top of them. It looks like the inhuman conditions illustrated in WWII photos-so distressing! Dr. Nath said I need to keep these pictures for future car rides when they all complain about how they're squished in the back seat. But overall, a good visit.

Anxiety Abounds

Met with Dr. Penny yesterday. After a brief exam-belly measurement, baby heartbeat check, etc., he gave us unsolicited financial advice regarding how expensive triplets can be, which offended Bryan, mostly because right from the beginning of the conversation I said, "We have already been thinking about the financial constraints, " knowing my face said, "I don't care about the money, I just want to have these babies and have them be healthy." Dr. Penney continued as if I did not speak so Bryan said, "We've got it covered, " yet Dr. Penney, who must get a commission from Dean Witter, droned on about the cost of college, hospital bills, etc. Bryan was insulted and cranky the whole way home. Bry thinks that we should go in presenting our college degrees and a short biography outlining our life experiences so that the people in this particular Dr.'s office stop treating us like imbeciles.

This made me cranky. After some careful self analysis I figured out why. I need to trust these people. They are my connection to a healthy, successful pregnancy, so if I admit they are inadequate I start to panic. Perhaps, I need to rely on something else for support. This thought was further illustrated by the Dr's answer to my questions regrading Christmas travel. I know he was trying to be honest but hearing that if something went wrong in the next few weeks and I was an hour away it probably wouldn't make a difference when it came to saving the babies anyway was not the yuletide cheer I was looking for.

So, what do I do? For some reason, Oprah's latest lackey's book comes to mind: Eat, Pray, Love. From what I understand, it is about one woman's journey to self discovery after she realizes that being married, living in a nice home, and having children are not at all for her and she spends the next few years traveling in order to figure it all out. Probably not the subject matter for me at this time in my life, however, the title may be. If I can focus my negative feelings on those three things in a positive way (along with consuming 60 oz of water) perhaps I can lessen the anxiety. I do not want to pout over this pregnancy, thinking every sign of life coming from my belly is a fortune telling talisman telling of imminent disaster. Instead, rely on what I know is reliable: Bry, rest, the love of my family and friends-and let that grow these babies.

Cloudy Wednesday

Saw Dr. Nath yesterday. The cervix looks good-2.8 rather than 2.4, so my fears are slightly assuaged. We did part of a level two ultrasound and the babies have all their fingers and toes. We go back on Monday to finish-it seems I need to make it clear that we are carrying triplets every time I call because a 30 min appointment slot just doesn't seen to cut it. They also looked for birth defects-heart, club foot, and other things that I was not even thinking about.

Amanda found out that they are having a boy! Hopefully, there are girls on the horizon for our one girl is way out numbered by now. She better be a bad ass.

Yesterday was a pretty full day as far a shut in's schedule goes. I finished a book-Girls in Peril. A quick read that I recommend to anyone who does not have all day to read. I made Death by Chocolate for the faculty Christmas Luncheon. Justine kindly picked it up along with some work I graded.

Today's Agenda includes finishing the Christmas Shopping. I will make that the big goal of the day.

House Arrest

December 10, 2005. 140 lbs 0 cigarettes 0 alcoholic beverages

I thought I would begin my first post reminicsing my pre-pregnancy days where the the first number would have been lower and the last two much higher.

So it is day one of "modified bed rest," an ambiguous term for "stay home and feel like you can get nothing done." So, I started this blog today as a way to feel productive and document my triplet pregnancy. Perhaps my starting sentence will need to be edited once the children are born.

This experience has been laden with lessons in patience, sacrafice, and hope. I am reminded daily of how amazing Bryan is and how my friends and family are the most supportive people in the world. More than one person has said exactly what I needed to here today and it is only 11:00 am. Sue offered delivered lattes, Amanda R. movies unlimited, Irene anything I needed and my boss, some laughs. My sister reminded me that I need to make sure that I do not pick up too many hobbies because I will need to work on her graduate work come January.

But for today, the house is getting cleaned and I started a blog. I am 10 lbs less than Dr. Luke, the guru of multiple pregnancies, would like me to be, but surely all this rest I need to do will help me to pack on the pounds. I will grade the essays I assigned in anticipation of my convalescence for my poor students and perhaps work on a Christmas scarf for my sister.

I don't know how to quite tell you this...(an email to friends)

but, I am pregnant. Okay, so maybe email is not the appropriate medium for this information, but I could not handle an evening with the girls feeling like a phoney nor making some kind of grand announcement just before someone outed me about not drinking and smoking. Also I am fat, too fat for 11 weeks and one day. And cranky. Some days I like talking about it, some days I don't want to talk about it at all. Tomorrow, I'm not sure what you're gonna get. So please feel free to ignore this email and only talk about Jessica's pregnancy because she is much better at talking and hearing about it than I am.
I love you guys and I actually feel better just writing this. Being inauthentic these past few months, keeping this private, has been a little exhausting, but I just needed to do it that way.
See you tomorrow!
Love, Amy

PS I am carrying triplets

PSPS If you read this Thursday night, don't call me. I am going to bed.