Born To Run

These babies were definitely born to run, 802 miles down with just 300 more to go! Yes that is correct we will be back home today. We left Tampa early Tuesday morning, sacked out in a hotel in Savannah Tuesday night, sacked out in another hotel in Richmond Wednesday night and will be pulling into our driveway tonight. Some quick stats for you....101 days since we have been home, Charlie weighed 4 lbs 11 ounces at our last doctor visit, Monday, (although mom feels he has packed on even more weight since then), Nori is tipping the scales at 5 pounds 11 ounces. Charlie and Nori have been to Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina and Virginia (more traveling than their Poppy). We have passed about 50 signs to South of the Border and 400 Waffle Houses. When we checked into the hotel last night I couldn't help notice that Amy and I had one bag between us, while the babies brought in 8 bags, interesting. We are stopping about every 2 ot 3 hours to change, feed and refuel. If I could get one thing on this trip it would be a sign before exits that said if you are looking for a clean place to change your child don't stop here. So far we rated the Barnes and Nobles bookstore in South Carolina the best changing place. As you may have guessed this is Bryan doing the writing, as a guest writer to the blog. We miss all of you and will be seeing you very soon. Just wanted to thank all of you for the calls, packages from home, comments to the blog, prayers and support, we wouldn't have been able to do this without you. By the way Nori and Charlie are talking about going to Aruba next year.

The First Whole Day

I was so anxious about the babies' homecoming, but the second we left the hospital I felt a serenity that I have not felt for some time. Sure, the first 24 hours were tough, but I feel like the NICU was like baby boot camp-trying to care and love your children under some fairly crazy circumstances. Being home with them (dare I say it!) seems so much easier. Perhaps because it feels so much more natural. Our pack and play bassinet seems to be a little too soft for them, and the apartment is a little too quiet, so we made a snuggle camp on the floor (a la Tom Hanks once rescued in Castaway) and we leave the television on. Our upcoming road trip is a little daunting, but I feel like we can really take on anything right now. Perhaps I am delirious from lack of sleep or euphoric from having them near me but I today was a really great day.

We were only waiting for this moment to arrive...

Last night, day four of no episodes, Bryan and I went out for our "last dinner," sure we may have another last dinner because our discharge would be postponed. We did not even go to the NICU last night like we usually do on Friday nights because we were so sure the babies would sense our anxiety and have an episode just to stay away from us. But I knew it was real this time; it was a tension like I have never felt before. Like the first day of school as a student and as a teacher. Like the moment before taking a stage to speak in front of a group of people. Like driving in a foreign country and realizing you are totally lost and do not speak the language enough to ask for directions. Like being at the pinnacle of a roller coaster-the pause just before it goes over the edge. That was how I felt until their monitors went black. No longer beeping on a screen for me to see, their hearts were now inside of me.

Now my typing is one handed, as I hold Charlie in one arm and I am distracted by Nori wiggling with Bryan nearby. Our first night together will probably be a long one, but one I have longed for for so long.

Our NICU Angels

It is so hard to say goodbye, especially when you are not sure you're leaving until you're out the door. Dave, Gina, and AnnMarie were working today, so we got to say goodbye. They saved our lives many times, as did so many of the NICU nurses who we did not get to say good bye to. How do you say thank you for taking care of and saving my babies? So many people were such a huge part of our lives for the past 3 months, with the end goal being our departure. Now that it is here it is a surreal feeling.

Just a Little Hiccup

Every day is one more day closer. Here's to hoping that the hiccups go away.

The Houghton's

Tyler James was born on May 15th, 2:54pm, 6lbs, 12oz. Nori and Charlie can't wait to meet their cousin.

Negative Numbers

On May 12 the babies were 3 months old. May 13 was my due date, so their "adjusted age" is 2 days old. However, since they are multiples, we learned that we need to add a week for each baby in order to get their true adjusted age, so really, we are still a negative number. (Bryan really loves this moving goal post we keep trying to reach.) But even though we are still in the negative number category, we are reminded of how far they have come. Almost home.

Uneasy Efficiency

We live, in theory, 5 minutes from the hospital. We timed the ride before we moved from one place to another, weighing whether the extra rent money would pay off in less travel time. However, the drive time is still plagued by the obstacles that the hospital presents. First, the parking, which recently has been made easier, with more spots available, but we are not sure what the change was and how long it will last. Then, the two out of four elevators working - I add to my workout by taking the stairs or avoiding the glares of hospital staff when I get on the service elevator. Then, the security desk on the fourth floor (after 9:00 pm there is also the security desk on the first floor) followed by a three minute scrub, the donning of the yellow robe and the polite wait at the door while someone buzzes me in. At this point, we are very recognizable and the security check and the buzzing-in move fairly efficiently. Overall, in order to make it in for Charlie’s 11:00 feeding, I need to be out of the door by 10:20. Recently, however, the security has been beefed up and now includes showing some ID and getting your picture printed on a sticker pass. This adds at least 5 more minutes, depending on the tech savvy of the security guard.
The other morning was great. I got a parking spot on the first floor and there was a visitor elevator ready and waiting for me. The desk guard efficiently printed out a pass without courteous conversation over my out of sate license which usually includes the naming of random towns the guard might be familiar with but has no geographical reference point of whatsoever. I smiled, slipped my pass into my bag, and quickly made my way towards the NICU. It was at this point that the extra hallway security guard (part of the new beefiness) called after me. “Miss, you know you have to wear that.” Even with all the efficiency that the morning had offered me, this call back was suddenly so annoying. I turned around and walked towards him as quickly as I had walked away-an unnatural speed to approach a stranger with unless they are choking or something. “Yes, I know,” I replied through what I think were clenched teeth. “But, you see, the pass gets wrinkled when I pull up my shirt to breast feed my babies in the NICU,” I said, demonstrating the runching of my top and leaning in to his face on the BR of “breast.” I wanted to continue with my rant, but he put up his hand and replied, “No no, go. That’s good. You got me.” His clear discomfort, rather than vindicating me, just made me feel bad, but clearly anything that stands between me and the babies breeds bad behavior on my part, which just breeds more bad behavior in others. Especially when later on, when I was leaving the NICU, I was stopped by another security guard about not wearing my pass in front of the original security guard. Instead of just giving a, “just let her pass,” to the new guy, and quietly noting "hostile" next to my name on the NICU baby sheet, my old buddy instead said, “Tell him why you are not wearing your pass.” Either he wanted to hear about my breasts again or he took pleasure in making others feel as uncomfortable as I made him. Jerk.

Mother's Day

Stop and Go

I have stopped counting Brady-Free Days. It seems just like when we get close, something happens. Instead, I pray for serenity and most days I get it. Bryan thinks we should re-name Charlie, Dale Mabry and we try to convince Amanda that Florida is a great place to have a baby. We will buy more than one roll of toilet paper at a time. I will stop the peanut butter jar scraping I have been doing for the past 10 days that has made the glass crystal clean and just buy more. We find humor in the things that annoy us, like the way Bry's chin disappears into his neck when the security guard asks him to spell my last name for the 89th time. For today, acceptance and a sense of humor seem to be the best remedies.

Five More Days

I have been reluctant to count how many days each baby goes without an episode because it can be so frustrating when they have a"Brady"on day five. But now, the countdown begins. Both Nori and Charlie need to go five days without an Apnea or Brady in order to be released. The last few days have been tough, mostly due to a bi-weekly eye exam they both have looking for "retinopathy," an eye condition common in preemies. The exam is very traumatic for both of them. They do not let moms watch because it can be so upsetting (think "A Clockwork Orange"). So this leads to the question-How important is it for them to have these exams? It's not like they need to read the map quest map to get home or anything. Each time they have the exam the results are the same: Trace signs of retinopathy that they may grow out of so we keep looking to see if they have matured. So the unofficial plan is to get to our five days before their next eye exam. Today is day one.

Waiting to Exhale for Charlie

Famous last words yesterday from our nurse practitioner were, "If she behaves herself, Nori can come home with you tomorrow." Later that day, after going 12 days, surpassing the 5 day minimum, without having a Brady or Apnea episode, little Nori decides to have a random brady while lying in her crib. We all tried to ignore it, even the nurse, but there was no denying that Nori had decided that she would not like to behave herself. We think she may be holding her breath for Charlie, unaware of how good she will have it if she does get to be home without him for a few days. Meanwhile, Charlie passed his car seat challenge with flying colors and has been eating like a champ. I don't think he will reciprocate Nori's gesture when his turn to come home arrives. So, we will see what the doctor wants to do today. They may release Nori if she had an uneventful night, or they may wait to see her make five Brady-free days again.

Reluctant Roomates

I feel like Charlie will be lonely if Nori leaves him in the NICU. Charlie, however, may feel like he can finally get some sleep.

The Car Seat Challenge

On Saturday, Nori passed her car seat challenge, sitting for an hour without an episode. On Tuesday, they both have an eye exam, and if all goes well, Nori will be released on Wednesday. I hold my breath when I think about it so I am more likely to have an episode than they are. I am not getting my hopes up, knowing how things can change. Charlie will stay a little longer, but he must know what is going on because he removed his feeding tube and has been out eating Nori for the past couple of days. We do not have an exact date for when we can leave to come home since we are still unsure about how to get home. The babies need to see a pediatrician two days after they are discharged, and with Charlie's discharge date still up in the air, we are having difficulty making plans. So we just say "soon" aloud, clinging to our optimism on the inside.

Beth the Baby Whisperer

Beth arrived today just in time to make me laugh so hard I almost wet my pants and to be the baby whisperer to Nori and Charlie. Nori was a little fussy this afternoon, but after a few notes of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star from Aunt Beth and she was all smiles. Nori had not had a BM in days, but within seconds of Beth's arrival, all was expelled. Bry and I took an infant CPR class today while Beth stayed behind with the the babies. She had it all under control.

In the Meantime

So we begin another month in Tampa. The leasing company we are using for our apartment is allowing us to renew on a day to day basis. I called today to extend it another week, making our last day May 12. I know I may have to call and extend it again, but I want to remain optimistic. We had our hearing tests yesterday, a sign we will be discharged soon, and we passed with flying colors. We also got a synagis shot to help prevent RSV-a respiratory problem common in preemies. The shot comes with a favor-a rubber stop sign that attaches to their car seats or carriers that says "Please wash your hands before touching mine." Apparently we will have to continue our constant hand washing and sanitizing for a while. I don't think Nori and Charlie would recognize me if I did not smell like hand sanitizer anyway. I think about a story my cousin Vanessa told me, about a woman in a store that was cooing over her beautiful daughter Emily, who then flat out kissed her little face. Maybe I should adapt the Micheal Jackson approach and cover my kids' faces at all times with a blanket. Maybe a mosquito net would suffice. Or maybe I will end being that mom in the Marshall's shrieking "DON'T TOUCH THE BABY!" In the meantime, we show up for mealtimes, Nori continues to manipulate Bryan (At her 6:00 feeding last night Bryan had to wrestle down 37 milliliters. Then the Nurse called at 10:30 to let us know she sucked down 50 milliliters no problem) and we cuddle with them as much as possible.

Snuggly Stats

Charlie: 3lbs 12oz-Almost tripling his weight since birth.

Nori: 4lbs 9 oz-Gaining 3 pounds since birth.

We were holding our temperatures in the crib well enough to have a bath last night. After I unwrapped Charlie from his snuggly cocoon he was almost too hot! Maybe I should ease up on the afghan. Nori is eating well and Charlie is almost there. Everyday I feel like I am holding my breath, hoping that we are one step closer.